THE YOUTH SPILLED OUT



driving all night makes
us horny and indiscriminate
just want to fuck and fall
heavy into sleep

not seeing the road or
dark patches between songs
on the radio or streaks left
on retinas, streetlights
tearing up the journey like strips
of black crepe
at home they probably had a line on us
already
but still this was the end
we had to get out

later I’m taking a shower.
he walks in and
tries to come up with
some shit to say.
I realize I have no soap and
no towel.
I have dust in my throat, far back
where the water can’t reach.

“what the fuck are you smiling
about?” I swallow rhythmically,
like a blowjob, waiting for
steam to paint the room invisible,
thinking of our old Youth Group
and the heat and drumming wetness
on my skin
like eager fingers plucking stray hairs

later we’re at it again,
spit on fingers
sliding in and out of him
remembering the shallow stars
splintering our Night-Drive like
shards of a broken
windowpane – and shards match stars,
each jagged edge like fire cutting
into our guts 

we are the dead when we fuck.


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